Not all moms were created equal. There is a considerable handful of daughters that have that "special" mom in her life that just never made the great mom playoffs. Unfortunately her habits and lifestyle just can't meet the supportive dreamy, helpful mom that you may have always fantasized about.
If you feel like I am talking about you and your mom then keep reading, because these helpful hints may make it a bit easier to get through what could be a disaster with your mom and your wedding.
#1 Consider your own actions. Put yourself in check before you start to blame. Take personal inventory of your feelings and actions by asking yourself why and where some of those feelings are coming from.
#2 Limit contact with her. If she is upsetting you with every move, limit your contact with her. Become dependent and make decisions on your own, hire a wedding planner or ask your friends that you can trust for advice.
#3 Forgive her. Sometimes even moms have bad habits and behaviors, and the child has to learn to be the mature one in the relationship. Forgiveness may help you grow stronger from the situation, versus letting her suck your energy dry and ruin your whole wedding.
#4 Talk If it feels right, have a one on one talk with your mom about the things that are a concern to you. This is healthy and be beneficial to your relationship if your mom and you are willing to work through your difficulties. Helpful hint: Write your concerns down and get a clear head before addressing the problems at home.
#5 Selfish Behavior Determine why you to consider her "selfish". Are you seeing things from a healthy perspective? It may help to find someone you trust with a mature understanding of relationships and women's emotions to talk things through before addressing the problems personally with your mom. Heck, there is no shame in seeing a psychologist before the wedding to resolve your issues.
We hope this helps guide you and your mom in a positive direction. We wish you the best at your wedding and in your future maternal endeavors!